Elliott has gotten into the habit of attacking body parts that are under blankets. It would be all fine and dandy and cute or whatever if she hadn't done such a piece of work on my foot this morning. I swear I could hear the skin ripping. My apologies, Elliott, if I have a knee jerk reaction and kick you into a wall.

In other news, I have managed to remember my dream.

( The Best/Worst dream I've had yet )

The other day I found out that what I thought was the only record store in town, is actually the only guitar shop in town. I am both happy and incredibly disappointed. I WANTED TO WORK THERE, BUT NOW I CAN'T BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT GUITARS.

Everyone keeps asking for pictures of my cat and I'm like "MAN SHE'S ELUSIVE I JUST CAN'T MANAGE IT."

( So I just crawled under the bed and turned the flash on. :| )

Dear Mother,

If you continue to go to the dollar store when I ask you to get something for the cat, I will develop a very sour opinion of you and your idea of animal care. I gave you that money for a cat toy and you came back with a stick and some catnip. Firstly, she isn't old enough for catnip. Secondly, A FUCKING STICK!? I am not going to risk poking my cat in the eye or giving her splinters because you are too fucking cheap to go to an actual pet store and get an actual toy. Please, stop being a damn scrooge.

Your Angry Daughter,
Lena

Dear People-Who-Converted-The-Garage-Into-What-Is-Now-My-Room,

Today, I had to tape up a gaping hole in my wall after my kitten clawed a shit-made cover open and trapped herself inside. Not only did I have to cut the wall to yank her out but I also have to start our relationship from scratch to regain her trust after pulling her out of her hiding spot. I recognize that I probably should have kitten-proofed my room before hand and perhaps looked for giant fucking gaping holes, but I was assuming that the people who worked on this house were competent. You are supposed to be making this house safe for people and their pets to live in, DO NOT LEAVE GIANT HOLES IN WALLS AND CEILINGS. Also, there is no cover on my fucking outlet you shits. I honestly do not feel that I should be the one going over every inch of my room to fix mistakes you made. Please, stop being asshats and do shit correctly.

A VERY PISSED TENANT,
Lena

Despite being 12 years apart, my sister and I have decided to do a few things together recently. First off, we're gonna be Brand and Chunk for Halloween, and secondly, she's naming her kid Brock and I'm naming mine Ash. She also wants to name one of her kids Obadiah Juan so she can call him Obi Juan. She's so fucking stupid sometimes.

I had a good weekend, Stella Artois is a good beer, I was smarter when I was 4 than I am now, annnd I made a joke last night and only my 90 year old grandmother laughed at it.

Dammit cat. I am your caretaker now so when I feel the need to grab you and rub my face against your fur, you better damn well comply!

In other news, my mom walked into my room today with my old, beloved watch that I thought was lost and gone forever. Apparently she had taken it to get its battery replaced and was returning it to me. I had originally stopped wearing it because the band was leather and started to smell really funky after a while. BUT since I lost track of it I've been keeping the band in a small lock box which is, incidentally, also where I keep my weed. So, now the band smells like pot but I'm wearing it anyway because I'd rather have my wrist smell like drugs than hickory smoked horse buttholes.

ETA: Meygan, I miss baked_tonou

WHY WILL VERIFIED BY VISA NOT ACCEPT MY INFORMATION WHENEVER I TRY TO PAY SHIT ONLINE!?! NOW I HAVE TO GO TO THE BANK AND YELL AT THE PEOPLE.

I was changing my bandages this morning and the wound has been bleeding since I fucking got it so the gauze always gets stuck. My mom was about to leave for work and wanted to see how it was healing. I'm sitting there trying to get the gauze off gently and she goes, "Just let me see it." So I give her my hand and RRIIIIIP. I'm pretty sure she just opened it up again. ;_;

The dog bit me and I bled all over* my mom's floor. I should probably be panicking about a rabies shot or something but I can't stop laughing.




*A few drops here and there. The tissue caught most of it.

Ok, I've really been slackin' on my dream updates so I'm editing this...lol.
( ANYWAY... )

So I finally got sick of Cleverbot and decided to try Omegle. So far the longest conversations I've had have involved acting out gay people being attacked by riot police and arguing with someone over how much it costs to screw my mom. Time well spent? I think so.

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
doc_gracebudd goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Darth Vader.
feverish_love gives you 14 softly glowing apple-flavoured gummy bats.
katowse tricks you! You get a rock.
laenavesse gives you 9 softly glowing vanilla-flavoured gummy bats.
lowtide gives you 5 blue root beer-flavoured gummy worms.
neon_moment gives you 8 teal lemon-flavoured gummy bats.
purple_crayon tricks you! You lose 35 pieces of candy!
rapidfix gives you 15 light green banana-flavoured jawbreakers.
sally18 gives you 7 white grape-flavoured nuggets.
untangles tricks you! You lose 22 pieces of candy!
veiravx gives you 4 brown raspberry-flavoured wafers.
doc_gracebudd ends up with 5 pieces of candy, and a rock.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

lmao. worst. halloween. ever.

I have to get used to seeing random movement in reflections and shit and not freaking out because it's a cat and not some insane serial killer hiding behind my drumset waiting to chop me up.

It's so fucking cold. If sleeping in your own room is the equivalent of sleeping outside there is a problem. It's so cold I'm more of an insomniac than usual. That's how bad it is.

/stays up until the wee hours of the morning turning into a popsicle

ETA: It's making my headache worse too.

I burned the bacon. Normally, I'd just give the awful pieces to the dog and get a few more and hopefully cook them so they were edible but it was THE LAST OF THE BACON.

/sobs

So we have this coffee can outside that my brother and I use to throw all our cigarette butts in when we're done. You know to keep the patio nice and clean. Anyway, I smoked my last cigarette like, an hour ago and tossed it in there. My brother comes and asks for a cigarette and I say I don't have any so he goes to the can to look for a butt to smoke and the whole thing is engulfed in smoke. It looked like someone started a fucking signal fire in it. It's a good thing he noticed or someone would've called the fire department on our asses.

God I suck.

The dream I had last night was nice and boring. It was a nice change.

( Still didn't make any sense though. )